Written By Naomi Ward

Naomi writes:

We begin our coach education programmes with listening.

It’s a humbling moment to realise that most of the time, our listening is about ourselves. Our identity and value: being the expert, the problem solver, the fixer, the helper, the advisor, the leader.

These stances come from a place of good intention, that are useful in other contexts, but do they serve the purpose of keeping the thinker in flow, towards new insight?

I heard somewhere that the thinker spends a third of their energy managing the coach and their agenda. How can we get out of the way, so that our thinkers can commit their full selves to an unfolding process?

It’s not easy. The shift from ‘having value’ in the conversation towards doing less, is a challenge. At some point, the questions arise. Is listening enough? What is my value here? Who am I if I’m doing nothing? Who am I?

In a training room recently, we were at the early stages of learning to listen differently. I could see people leaning forward, nodding their heads, showing the strain of wanting to speak. 

One participant was leaning back, grounded, completely still, with her eyes on her thinker. 

In the feedback, her thinker named this – that this stillness reduced her distractions and encouraged her to own the responsibility to come to her own answers. 

Think about it – if we’re nodding at every sentence, leaning in, we’re implying,’ you’re right, you’re doing well, I agree, I can probably help now.’

If we’re still and grounded, we’re conveying, ‘you’ve got this, I’m with you, keep going, I won’t interrupt you.’

There are times to interrupt (a future blog perhaps) but for now, remember, that listening, is enough.

What’s inspiring us

Podcast

Rick Rubin on Listening, Taste, and the Act of Noticing (Ep. 169 – BONUS)

The acclaimed music producer lays out his approach to creative collaboration…all starting with listening.

Quote

“Usually the brain that contains the problem also contains the solution – often the best one.”

Nancy Kline – Time to Think. Listening to Ignite the Human Mind

What are you learning?

We’d love to feature your coaching insights in this monthly blog. If you have a story to share that could be a guest blog – please be in touch.

Happy coaching!

The MSB Learning Team